Apr 21
2009
Jeremy Roddick approved stimulus package
SIX MONTHS OF RELEIF FOR 64.95$!!
Jeremy Roddick executives, today, approved a proposed porn stimulus package by an overwhelming margin. The object of the stimulus proposal, according to sources close to Jeremy Roddick, is to provide long term relief for cash-strapped porn consumers faced with the prospect of cutting “self-gratification” from their daily regimen. The controversial package doubles the value of the already hardon-worthy Jeremy Roddick website.
Citing studies by the Surgeon General’s office and Masters and Johnson which suggest that daily ejaculation is essential to healthy prostate and stress relief, William Godin, a Jeremy Roddick executive, touts the stimulus package as “the socially responsible thing to do”.
Opponents of the stimulus package claim the special gives away too much “stimulus” for too little money. “You can’t give people unfettered access to high quality porn for such an extended period of time without consequences down the road”, remarked a frustrated Lars Noseworthy of the Cock Blockers Coalition. Noseworthy’s organization maintains that sustained access to good quality pornography is associated with hair growth on palms and, eventually, blindness.











